When you live in an apartment or a house which has windows to the streets or to neighbors you have to opaque the view. You have to use frosted glass or use outside blinds. That also means that there is no or reduced sunlight for the room and you can not enjoy the view outside! In summer this can be very irritating!
Sometimes I order my slave to dress up (of course he has to wears his cuffs underneath the clothe) and open the blinds to enjoy the summer. The same if you have a garden or a balcony with a view to a street or a neighbor. In summer we eat outside, so my slave is allowed to wear clothes but also there he has to wear his cuffs and collar underneath.
Furthermore we can not receive spontaneous, "vanilla", visit. We or better my slave has to prepare the rooms so that no BDSM stuff lies around. As you can imagine some items are always at hand (ex. the crop for corrective action, blindfold, padlocks ect.).
Also when we meet friends outside and we think it could be possible to go to our home afterwards with them, we have to prepare the house and make it "vanilla" friendly.
The way we live is not common in our society. A lot of people would not understand our lifestyle. So we have to hide our way we live. If it would be accepted I would not hold my slave naked in front of vanillas but perhaps he had to wear his collar in front of them or give him clear commands! When vanillas are around I give him also orders but very subtile. But also if we would forget to hide some BDSM related items like padlocks, chains, or his bowl ect. it would not be a tragic if the lifestyle would be more accepted. Actually we have to be very careful.
Receiving vanilla visit is not really a problem because my slave can serve secretly without being noticed. This because we are the "host". When we are invited by friends my slave serves me also secretly but he can not do it so obvious as when we receive visit. As example: When eating by friends he refills my glass only when the bottles stays on the table. It would be too suspicious when you would walk to the fridge and perhaps also rude for the host.
So as you see there are also some "disadvantages" to live this lifestyle but the positive things outweigh and we are extreme happy that we have the possibilities to live it!
If you have any question or comments about this post let me know in the comment below.
I wonder if we do a disservice to ourselves and our community by keeping the nature of our relationship a secret. I liken it to the period when we hid our homosexuality from family and friends which only served to further stigmatize our orientation.
ReplyDeleteFor our part, all our gay friends know of our relationship. And, i am inclined to tell my hetero friends that i am in a special relationship which i treasure. i explain that the Dom/sub relationship is not so dissimilar to the old traditional marriage of husband and wife, or the relationship that exists in religious communities, the military and in some corporate environments. Rarely does anyone ask questions but when they do, I answer clearly and honestly. If they ask questions about sexual matters, i ask if they really want an answer and if they do, I respond honestly. but i also ask the same question of them.
i realize that this is a difficult issue for all of us. Personally, i am becoming more comfortable explaining our lifestyle to those (gay or not gay) with whom i would like to have a continuing relationship. With others, i remain silent.
Dear Unknown,
DeleteThank you very much for these excellent thoughts and that you shared these here!
I want to give a longer response to your comment and so I decided to writer a Post about this. Give me some time and I will share my thoughts about this. Stay tuned!
i didn't realize that i would be listed as unknown. My name is fox meeker since i have taken the name of my Master.
Delete