Slave JS Serving Master D. - Guest Commentary

Blogpost from guest Slave JS:
The last entry on this blog I read was about fearing the crop.  I now know from experience and am constantly aware of its presence at all times.  The sound and feel of the crop on my ass stings in a way that makes me question why I continue to go through the journey of serving.  The tenderness and direction of the crop as it guides me to be a better slave reminds me that the pain is worth it.

Serving a master is not easy.  It takes a toll on my body.  It brings me to tears when I do not fulfill a task to the best of my ability.  And I am always anxious about what mistake I may make next and the consequences that come from it.  But that is only one side of the conversation.  Training a slave is a much more challenging and involved process.  In the time that I have served Master D., he constantly checks in to ensure that I am safe.  He provides clear and immediate direction.  He rewards me when I do well and punishes me when I do not.  That is a much bigger burden and responsibility than I have to serve him.

The fear of the crop

My Master really loves his crop for different reasons as he has already written.
I as his slave fear his crop. The crop is omnipresent. My Master always keeps it near him - in fact he has two of them. So it is always visible for me and present in the room. Even when we travel I always have the order to pack the crop so that my Master has it at his hand all the times.
At home he also sometimes orders me to fetch his crop for him. This is a very intense moment for me. When I fetch the crop I bring it to him, kneel down, head down, hands up and present the crop. Then my Master takes it and I have no idea what happens next. Sometimes he punishes me for a mistake, but sometimes he just wanted me to fetch his crop and sends me away to go on with my slave chores.

BDSM & Sexuality

As you already read in the Blog, pure BDSM has noting to do with fucking a slave or getting sucked. BDSM is about hierarchies, domination, submission and has nothing to do with "pure" sex. Yes indeed if you tie someone up and fuck this person you are doing BDSM. But only because this person is at your mercy and submitted to you (to be fucked) in ropes or chains makes him/(her) not a true slave! 
The import question which you have to ask is:

What is the focus on practicing BDSM?

is it the sexuality in form of "pure" sex (with the intention of an orgasm)? Or is it BDSM: To dominate or being dominated and all the associated BDSM facets?

How I'm becoming more and more a slave

Every relationship evolves and that is just natural that also our relationship evolves. Some BDSM-relationships struggle with keeping up the Master-slave part over the years. But we have until now no problems with that. Instead I think I'm becoming more and more a slave, although I already consider myself as a born slave.
I notice some small changes in my behavior that show over time that I'm becoming more and more slavish. For example I think of my partner more often as of my Master and not as my partner.