Answering 3 BDSM questions

This time I want to answer three questions that I received from a slave, Pup Argos, via Twitter. I made a deal with him to answer them via our blog when he in return will write a guest post in our blog! He agreed, so here are the questions with my Master thougts:

1. "Why is so difficult to find REAL Masters? Nowadays we almost only find FinDoms that don't live it for real."

That is a good and hard question where I need to start at the beginning. With "real" you mean a Master who (wants to) live(s) the BDSM lifestyle, do you? I want to clarify one thing - because I also use sometimes the term "real" master/slave - for me the more proper definition would be "natural".
For those who are interested in my three "categories" of slaves - here:"the natural slave", "the session slave" and "the pseudo session slave". But now back to your question:
First, you have to be born this way. You need the intrinsic motivation/need/desire of BDSM - call it how you want - and not because you are "horny" to dominate a slave. It has to be natural to you otherwise you would play a role and therefore you can only play a role temporarily. That can not make you happy on a long term. So first you have to have "it" in you....

Second you have to go through the process of finding yourself. Who you are and furthermore you have to be at peace with yourself by being who you are! So for the first two points you have to focus on yourself and what you want for your life.

The next influencing factor is the environment: Are you able to gain experiences? Are you willing to perform BDSM also when it is perhaps frowned upon in your environment? Are you accepting that these desire of BDSM is normal although society can not understand it? Are you able to find your counterparts? You will grow with experiences. As everything you got better and will know more and more about yourself and what you want and who you are. If you are easely influenceable by your envirement it could be hard to find yourself. When you make a lot of "bad" expierences or you do not find the matching counterparts you perhaps only want to do sessions and stop searching for your "ideal" counterparts/lifestyle to deepen your desires.
So as you see: A lot of factor influences your "being" and to become a Master/slave who lives the BDSM lifestyle your personality and your envirement has to clear the path for it. I believe there are some more "natural" master (and slaves) outside. But because of internal and external "lacks" - I do not find a better word for it, sorry. I mean it in a positiv way - they can or do not evolve.

2. "Why is so difficult to find REAL slaves?"

My first answer is also the answer of this question. It occurs for both sides - Masters and slaves.

3. Could polyamorous BDSM families be a collateral effect of that? When we finally find each others, we group in a family.

Yes, of course. Human beings like to be in the community of likeminded! That is absolutly normal and occurs also in the BDSM world. So the idea of polyamorous BDSM families makes sense. I see it in our lifestyle. We also seek to find likeminded who understand our lifestyle. Who we can invite to a "BDSM" dinner where the Masters are served by the slaves and talk about experiences and so on. You feel accepted and understood for that what you are. I think that a polyamorous has advantages and also some challanges. As everyting in life it has two sides.

So I delivered my part of the deal, slave!
Time for your part! Here you find it.

If you have any question or comments about this post let me know in the comment below
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Blogentry #106