Find out Friday - Question#34

As you perhaps know I started on Twitter the hashtag #FindOutFridayBDSM. There I receive sometimes questions where I need more than 280 characters to answer properly. So I decided to use the blog to deepen some of those more complex questions. So here are the first "Find out Friday Questions" for the blog.

Here is the full Question#34: How do you let your bf know it’s ok to treat you like a slave and make me obey often withought asking for it . To be put in place. Your love for him will not stop as a bf just because he treats you as property. I think my bf has a problem mixing being a owner and bf. Solutions withought always being the one asking for it. When you ask for it’s not the same.

So here also my full answer:

There can be several reasons why your boyfriend does not treat you like a slave/object. I will start with some thoughts about it, some brainstorming. We are creatures of habits. Therefore it could be that he treats you only as his boyfriend because of his habit to do so. If this occurs: A solution could be that he could use some methode to overcome these habits. Because he "forgets" to use you as slave.

He could make some reminder in his calender (without your knowledge of course). When they remind him he could start to treat you as slave for the evening. Another solution could be to define clear days, timeframes where he gets served from you to come along with the idea of treating you as slave.

Another reason could be - as you said - that it is hard for him to treat his boyfriend also as his slave. Therefore it could help to order the slave to wear a mask, to objectifice you. So when he looks at you he does not see his boyfriend. He sees an "object". I recognize it in our relationship. When my slave wears the mask it makes him still a bit more submissive and I objectify him more.

Perhaps he needs some confident that it is okay to treat you like a slave. Perhaps it could also be a tip to actively show your submissivnes to him by taking initiative. "May I wear the collar and serve you for the evening?" could be a great sentence to show him that you want to serve but you let him decide.

After all these tips there is a golden rule: Comunicate with each other! As I read between the lines: You went not into a 100% BDSM relationship as his slave. You went into this relationship as boyfriend. Therefore: When you want to use some of these tips talk to each other if this fits you both. You can not push him to a point he does not want to go! As he should not push you to a point you do not want to go! My slave wanted to live the life of a slave. It was his decision to choose this lifestyle therefore he accepts his place as my slave and my orders and rule. As I wanted to live the lifestyle of a Master. So the conditions and commitments were set from the beginning of our relationship. You went into a bf relationship and want to add BDSM therefore the commitment from both sides is neccesary.

If you have any question or comments about this post let me know in the comment below or Tweet to @MasterHusband

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Blogentry #112