Slaves and limits

Limits are part of BDSM and it should be common sense that everything what would harm a slave permanently - physically as well as mentally - are clear limits! Therefore consciously overstepping a slave limits can cause "mental damage" espacially in the ability of trusting others! Furthermore you risk that the slave will not further explore his inner need to submit and in the worst case the community loses perhaps a good slave! After mentioning this most important lines I will dig deeper in the topic of "limits".

There are several factors why a slave has limits. Factores like unexperianced, health condition, fear - especially phobias - and sometimes also bad experiences. 

First of all it should be clear that when meeting a new Master limits are needed and help the slave to gain the basic trust. Trust has to be earned - especially the Master has to earn it! By meeting a new Master limits are the safe harbour for a slave to feel secure. With that the trust will start to grow and the bonding between a Master and his slave will start.

When building up a D/s. relationship you will see that limits can shift or disapear after earning the trust and having a deeper bond and history together. A natural slave normaly wants to submit fully to his Master/Owner, therefore I believe limits fels somehow "wrong" for a slave - as long as these limits are not affecting the health of the slave! In our case my slave submitted fully to me. This means he accepts that - if I want - I can "work" on his "limits" but of course with the care which is needed. When my slave first came to serve me a limit of him was anal penetration. I absolutely respected that. When the time came that he had chosen to become my slave - my property - I explained him that this also meana that I can and will train him also in areas which he told me were limits but of course with a lot of care. Therefore he accepted that I can work - not ignore! - on his limits. Does this mean I do now what I want with him and his limits he told me? HELL, NO!! After knowing me very well he knew what I am into, what kind of Master I am and what it meant to hand me over his "limits".

With becoming my property he accepted that he fully belongs to me and that I can train him in all areas I want. That means I earned also far more responsibility! Let's go back to my first paragraph "...what would harm the slave permanently...": It would harm my slave if I would ignore his limits he told me before becoming my property! Demanding and yet with sensitivity I slowly worked on some of his limits and shifted them without harming him. I only work(ed) on limits which I wanted to.

 

To summarize: It is absolutely important, normal and healthy to have limits. Especially when you are a slave who does not want to belong to one Master or is not interested in a D/s relationship or even in the BDSM-lifestyle. If you are interested in a D/s relationship or even the BDSM-lifestyle and want to be trained by a Master which you trust and deepen your servitude I am sure you will come to the point where you allow your Master to train you in your limits.

One last word to the Masters: Never force or rush a slave to train them in their limits! It needs a lot of trust which you first have to earn and prove worthy. My slave had the choice between staying a "guestslave" with the status quo or deepen his servitude by becoming my slave - my property - with all the discussed consequences. He had the choice and he was fully informed what this meant. He accepted it and commited to it. This is a choice a slave has to make. It is nothing what you can "order" him to do. It's called devotion.

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Blogentry #138