So before you find a slave who comes over to serve you the first time, the slave already made his first choice: He chooses to serve you. You didn't force him to. This is a important step into a healthy BDSM-relationship. It was his choice to start the path into submission with you, he accepted you as a dominant and gave you the first trust which you can deepen.
In the next step you will get to know each other better. Especially the slave will learn what kind of a Master you are and what kind of rules, mindsets and principals you have. In this phase you will deepen the D/s bond. You will begin to apply more rules. Rules which will perhaps also apply outside of a "session" and you have a closer look how your slave reacts on these. In this phase of deepen the D/s bond you have to communicate a lot and understand the mindset of each other. Keep in mind that the slave is at this moment not your "owned" slave - not your property. He is an unowned slave who satisfies his desire of submission and servitude. He accepts you as a/(his) Master on his path as a slave and as a sign of dedication he follows your rules and orders.
Then on a certain point you perhaps will give the slave the choice to become your owned slave. Before the decision can be made by the slave he needs to know the Master deeply and what comes along with it. Therefore you have talked a lot. You made clear what it means and what is expected from him as an owned slave - His rights, obligations and responsibilites.
If you want to live the BDSM-lifestyle the commitment from the slave is absolutely needed and necessary. Only when the slave chooses to become your owned slave, he got himself "mentaly branded" and accepts his place as your property.
In our case it means I have the total power over my slave. I can decide over him, about the rules he has to live on, how I want him to behave and that he has to follow all my orders. But it also means I will proctect him from physical and psychological damages and look after his well being.
Being in total power means I also decide where I give him the freedom to choose. I would personally drive crazy if I would decide every small part of his life - what to wear, eat, drink, shop, etc.
Therefore he is allowed to choose on his own. But of course I have the last word if I want to choose for him or if I want to change his posibility to choose.
Therefore he is allowed to choose on his own. But of course I have the last word if I want to choose for him or if I want to change his posibility to choose.
Total power exchange is not only about what you take, but what you allow your slave! Being a Master means also giving things like guidance, security, trust, affection/love, understanding and also (sometimes) posibilities.
"Give a person power and you will know his true character"
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Blogentry #142
1 comment:
As you say, it would be tiresome to have to make every decision for your slave, however I am sure you set broad boundaries for his choices. One of the most powerful boundaries can be the clothes your slave is allowed to wear. You can use this to reinforce the hierarchy in your lives by requiring your slave to adopt a certain clothing style (when clothes are required). Except for when work clothes are required, have you concerned requiring your slave to always wear shorts and a sleeveless shirt (muscle shirt, tank top, stringer tank etc). This allows the slave to be modest for external appearances, but minimises the clothes the slave actually wears.
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