Open relationship & the BDSM lifestyle

If you would ask me if we had a open or closed relationship I would answer none of these two types. We are having a BDSM relationship. So after receiving this question I decided to write about my view and definition.

First of all, as Master and owner of my slaveobject I am in charge and make decisions in this household. In this particular case it means I decide about the sexual life of my slave. My slave accepted my rules, structure and power over him. He knew and accepted the terms when he voluntarily choose to become my slave.

In my point of view in a deep BDSM lifestyle relationship the Master chooses if the slave is allowed to serve or have sexual contacts with others. On the other hand the Master is of course free to dominate or have sex with others. The trick question about it is: Where starts an "open relationship" in a BDSM relationship? Where do you draw the line to call it an open or closed relationship? Do you only focus on sex in particular or also serving? If I order another slave something small like "bring me my drink" is this already an open relationship? In a vanilla way I can understand the question but in a BDSM related context it is a more complex question.

As natural Master it is my decision if I want to train or use other slaves. With "using" I mean this time also in a sexual context. My slave has no say in it. Of course he is allowed to discuss his feelings about it but in his case he knows his place. He even told me once he is happy if or when other good slaves have the chance to serve me but this is perhaps a topic for my slave and another time.

Nevertheless I expect my slave to show respect to all Superiors. I believe that a few are born as Doms, a few were born as slave and most people are born "neutral". Therefore my slave has to accepts his place in natural BDSM hierarchy. That means he has to address Superiors appropriately and being submissive towards them. That does not mean all Superiors can treat my property as they wish or ordering him around! After all he is my belonging and I decide with whom I want to share it.

Now it will be interesting. I have no problem to share my property with other Masters which are like-minded and I have a basic trust. As long as I am present. Therefore I like sharing my slave and his body for "non-sexual" practices or his trained services

If I know a Master college better and have an advance trust I also like to share my slave for sexual services as long as I am present. If the Master college has my absolut trust he can use my slave also in my absent.

So what about my slave?
As mentioned before it is no longer his choice to whom he has to serve or has sexual contact. As you already know I keep my slave locked an chaste. Therefore I will not allow him to fuck or receive an orgasm anymore. He knows that I am the only person who can give or allow others to stimulate him. Therefore his focus is on me and that is exactly what I want.

So I let everyone decide on their own if they call it a open or closed relationship.

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 Blogentry #221